MAN TALK: IT’S CHEAPER TO LEAVE HER

If you have a decent knowledge of “old school” music, then you must have heard of the song “Cheaper To Keep Her” by Johnny Taylor. The point of this song was to inform anybody listening that they’re better off just staying in their struggling relationships.

While that may have been good advice back in the days, the same might not apply in 2012.

If you’re in a bad relationship and you’re thinking about staying in it just because of ‘the kids’ or
because ‘no matter who you get with, they’ll have some flaws’
or ‘the divorce settlement will hurt your pockets’ – I want you to know that I totally understand where you’re coming from but if you make your decision based on these reasons then you are missing a major point of life: Be Thou Happy Whilst Thou Is Alive Cuz When Thou Iz Dead, Itz Too Late.

My Reasoning
Number One: Staying together for the kids sake is a joke. You’ll slowly begin to hate each other and kids aren’t stupid, they’ll know it. You’ll hate each other because one of you is going to be fantasizing about getting back together or jealous of the others outside relationships or something like that. I’m not completely closed minded, so I will acknowledge that it could work out, but your chances are worse that a lottery player with a single dollar to spend. In the end you’ll just be exposing them to something that’s more unhealthy than just dealing with the reality that their parents aren’t going to be together anymore.

Number Two: Everybody has flaws, so you might as well accept the flawed person that you’re with right now. Thinking like that is the sickest distortion of acceptance that there is. It’s attitudes like that, that cause people to stay in domestic violence situations. Besides when you’re with the one you’re ‘supposed to be with‘ their flaws won’t drive you crazy and accepting them won’t be a chore.

Number Three: Divorce is expensive. Good point but then again so are doctors and defense attorneys. If you stay in a relationship with somebody that you don’t love then you will eventually find yourself seeking help from one of these types of professionals. Here’s why:  If you don’t love them then you’ll be living with the stress of feeling like you are cheating yourself out of real happiness.  Then you’ll start resenting them and maybe hating them. All of which can easily land you on the nervous breakdown or homicide segments of the 10 o’clock news.

Bottom line: it’s cheaper to just pack up and leave at the first sign of trouble. Why risk the heartache and aggravation? The truth of the matter is that it takes a whole lot of real man qualities to stick and stay in a relationship. In addition to simply having acceptance, you’re going to need to be willing and able to practice patience, understanding, courage, trust, forgiveness and also unselfishness. That is a whole lot to ask for. I honestly think that many people would rather have a tooth pulled than to give all that to a relationship. Maybe this explains the currently high levels of relationship disposability.

It take a big man to be in a relationship and hold on through the rough patches or forgive when their mate has clearly messed up. And it takes a really big man to stay committed to his relationship in this world of constant temptation.

So unless you’re the type that rolls with a super sized spirit; it might just be cheaper for you to just let your struggling relationship go.